It’s taken two days to come in, but here is the update from our man from Day 4:

COOK STILL BATTING STOP WILL IT EVER END STOP THANK THE LORD FOR PRIOR OR ELSE WOULD HAVE ENDED IT ALL STOP PIETERSEN MAKING PITCH LOOK LIKE SNAKE PIT STOP

And from Day 5:

ENGLAND LOSE BY 9 WICKETS STOP TAIL ONLY GOOD FOR MAKING FEATHER DUSTERS STOP BELL TO RETURN HOME BY NEXT STEAMER FOR BIRTH OF CHILD EXPECTED BACK MARCH STOP WISH MORE OF ENGLAND BATSMENS WIVES WOULD GET IN FAMILY WAY BASED ON CURRENT FORM STOP

Opinionated as ever…

Has Indian skullduggery ever reached such lows? Short of actually releasing a herd of livestock onto the outfield and letting them mill around during the game, there’s nothing more they could have done to piss on England’s chips in terms of preparation than to prepare pitches quite unlike what they’ll face in the Test matches and essentially give them warm up games against a bunch of Sunday second elevens (without spinners).

At least that’s what certain high-profile former English players would have you believe. In a tweet (I can’t believe I’m using a tweet as a journalistic source), Michael Vaughan called the tactics ‘pathetic’ and not in the spirit of the game. David Lloyd described it as ‘lacking in class and style’.

No.
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