The TGECF Awards 2012 (Part 1)

We felt we would be missing out if we didn’t follow everyone else’s lead and give out some awards on the arbitrary basis that the date is about to change or some such. After a black tie gala dinner at one of London’s finest establishments (more like a couple of pints and some peanuts at a south London boozer) we’ve come up with some exciting awards to give out. There aren’t any actual prizes, although winners can apply personally to us with £19.99 (plus £2.99 post and packaging) and a couple of signed shirts and we’ll send them a cuddly toy or something.

We’ve split the awards up into two parts, so here goes with Part the first.

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The TGECF Christmas Message

[Library pictures of your erstwhile bloggers at the cricket, engaged in deep conversation about cricket, watching cricket or generally doing other things involving cricket. Cut to testmatchspecialist and blockeverythingmolesworth, in 3D, standing next to a Christmas tree and looking suitably regal.]

testmatchspecialist: This past year has seen the dawning of a new age. From the depths of despair on 28th January, when England were bowled out for just 72, emerged a shining beacon of hope, reason and interesting cricket banter.

blockeverythingmolesworth: My colleague and I have been pleased to serve you this last year, since we were thrust into this role as a result of the unfortunate circumstances in the Emirates.

tms: It has been a year of highs and lows, starting low and ending high. We’ve seen a changing of the guard with Mr Strauss nobly making way for Mr Cook (to whom, incidentally, we wish many happy returns) and the year ending with a magnificent victory for our brave boys in India.

bem: A fascinating year ahead awaits, with ten Tests scheduled against the old enemy. We shall be with you all the way.

tms: Until then, England must hope that the Cook serves up some more delicious runs, the Bell is given a damn good ringing, the Trott continues to trot, the Prior remains our spiritual leader, the Swann carries on flying and the Root continues to grow. And other such terrible puns.

bem: We look forward to this, the second year of our reign, with trepidation but quiet confidence. A very Merry Christmas to you all.

[tms and bem wave at the camera, which zooms out and cuts to a fluttering MCC flag.]

Coming soon on TGECF – our awards for 2012.

This just in…

While fiddling with the wires on our telegraph machine, we inadvertantly intercepted this message, apparently from the BCCI:

TO: GROUNDSMAN NAGPUR

FINAL TEST NOW MUST WIN STOP ASSEMBLE TWO PLOUGH PLUS SUITABLE BEASTS OF BURDEN STOP PNEUMATIC DRILL AND PICKAXES STOP MAKE SURE GROUND WELL CLEAR BY 3PM TUESDAY STOP INCOMING EXPLOSIVE ORDINANCE EXPECTED FROM INDIAN ARTILLERY STOP DO NOT REPEAT NOT BE WITHIN THREE HUNDRED YARDS STOP AFTER ALL CLEAR SIREN MAKE ROUGHEST PITCH POSSIBLE MUST TURN SQUARE FROM FIRST BALL STOP IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THIS MESSAGE REACHES YOU A COPY IS BEING SENT BY CARRIER PIGEON STOP

Well, chaps. Keep your heads down on Tuesday. England expects that every man will do his duty (and that means YOU, Ian)…

 

Exclusive: TGECF on Ricky Ponting

We will, of course, have full coverage of Ricky Ponting’s retirement from international cricket, not least because it’ll hopefully provide us with a veritable avalanche of pictures of him ‘looking upset’. Now though, our thoughts on Test cricket’s second most experienced pugilist.*

*After a certain Freddie Flintoff

Well, it had to happen sooner rather than later. The shots of Ricky Ponting slinking glumly back to the pavilion seem to have increased in their frequency of late. The whole concept of his being in the team but not captain seemed a little forced; a stopgap while Michael Clarke found his feet and a means of holding the fort while the next generation of Australian batsmen came through. However, unlike a certain diminutive Indian, Ricky has chosen to go out while his career still has some dignity.
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Watch Andrew Flintoff’s latest sporting venture…

With thanks to Monty Python… (If you’re bored, the rest of the video is cracking)