This just in…

While fiddling with the wires on our telegraph machine, we inadvertantly intercepted this message, apparently from the BCCI:

TO: GROUNDSMAN NAGPUR

FINAL TEST NOW MUST WIN STOP ASSEMBLE TWO PLOUGH PLUS SUITABLE BEASTS OF BURDEN STOP PNEUMATIC DRILL AND PICKAXES STOP MAKE SURE GROUND WELL CLEAR BY 3PM TUESDAY STOP INCOMING EXPLOSIVE ORDINANCE EXPECTED FROM INDIAN ARTILLERY STOP DO NOT REPEAT NOT BE WITHIN THREE HUNDRED YARDS STOP AFTER ALL CLEAR SIREN MAKE ROUGHEST PITCH POSSIBLE MUST TURN SQUARE FROM FIRST BALL STOP IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THIS MESSAGE REACHES YOU A COPY IS BEING SENT BY CARRIER PIGEON STOP

Well, chaps. Keep your heads down on Tuesday. England expects that every man will do his duty (and that means YOU, Ian)…

 

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